The Fitness Diaries

It was roughly a year ago when I took up running. I had no expensive trainers, no fancy gear; I just decided to run, so I ran. Before that day I did the odd home workout here and there, following youtube videos in my living room like a crazy woman, and I also dabbled with pilates and yoga, but I had no regular routine. That meant I really struggled to keep up with workouts, and ultimately hated exercise and hated myself for being so bad at exercise. Add to the mix a mild chocolate addiction, plus my pre- vegetarian self’s love of burgers, and I was pretty unfit. Now I’m not saying my life was all doom and gloom, but looking back I definitely wasn’t happy or confident in my body and I saw no end in sight.

Fast forward to a year later, when I run 4 times a week and work out on top of that, I truly care about myself and what I put into my body, because I have seen the effect it has. But even more importantly, I’m steadily learning how to love myself.

There have been many hurdles (pun intended) along the way; like the time I was bed bound by illness for 3 months and couldn’t exercise, or the time I decided to extend Christmas to February and had a very lazy few weeks, but on the whole, I’m really proud of myself for keeping up the running habit, and even more proud for bouncing back when it would have been easier to give up. And I’ve never felt better.

I think the body confidence we get from exercise comes from the challenges you overcome when you start and carry on running. There are no two ways about it, the first week of running- or any fitness journey-is going to be really hard (hellish, actually), and that 1 mile you can barely reach the end of is a real killer. But the fact that you reach the end of the killer mile, and keep coming back to go through it again every day, until eventually the mile doesn’t feel so hellish; then you can even run a little further so that before you know it you’re running 2 miles and beyond, is a huge achievement. You didn’t give up and that’s something to be proud of. It teaches you how good it feels to challenge yourself.

When I used to hear people saying how good exercise was for your mental health I genuinely thought they were lying; like a trick health freaks play on the rest of us so they can watch us suffer as we sweat, and they sit feeling very smug about themselves. I definitely didn’t think it would be something I preached myself, but here goes: running is amazing for your mental health. When I get to the top of a hill I feel amazing about myself, especially if I’ve sprinted past people in their houses eating takeaways on the sofa. No matter how slow I am, I’m faster than everybody sat on their bums.

Along the way I’ve gradually noticed that I actually want to take care of my body, now I have more to lose. Isn’t it funny how being healthy in one area of your life seems to act like a domino effect? I really want to be kind to myself by feeding my body the right balance of fuel and treats, a balance which has definitely been a bit ‘scew whiff’ in the past, as my Grandad used to say. These days, no amount of pizza of brownies comes remotely close to the feelings of pride when I think about how far I’ve come. It’s this pride which drives me to keep on going, because boy do I have a long way to go.

I am no Karlie Kloss, but I not even lying when I say that it’s knowing I’m doing my very best to be healthy that makes me feel most confident. And it’s really important to bear in mind that there is almost no correlation between health and size. Obviously, there are some exceptions, as I’m pretty sure a morbidly obese person can’t be healthy as long as they’re that big. But in general, women of all shapes and sizes exercise regularly and that’s the important thing; not whether or not you can fit into size 6 jeans. Running makes me feel good, and the icing on top of the delicious cake is it makes me look good too.

Of all the lessons I’ve learnt on this journey so far, the most important is that most things in life are mind over matter. If you can motivate yourself to work through the pain to reach the top of that hill, you can achieve anything as long as you believe you can. 

Weekend Treat

Banana bread is my favourite sweet treat to bake because I can convince myself it’s healthy. This one has 3 bananas in and no refined sugars, so it’s about as healthy as a cake is going to get. I use Jamie Oliver’s recipe because it’s the simplest I’ve come across; I could probably make it with my eyes closed at this point. If you want a little more indulgence I highly recommend smothering a slice with peanut butter or Nutella and thank me later…

All you need to make this light treat is

·         3 overripe bananas

·         2 tbspn apple juice

·         125g unsalted butter

·         2 large eggs

·         ½ tspn ground cinnamon

·         2 tbspn runny honey

1.    First you’ll need to preheat your oven to 180C and grease a loaf tin using either olive oil or butter, then lightly dust with flour.

2.    Peel the bananas and mash them with a fork in a mixing bowl until they’re an unsightly mix of smooth and lumpy. Then add apple juice and stir.

3.    In a separate bowl, cream the butter. (This is the trick bit which I think counts as a workout). The crack in and beat the eggs one at a time.

4.    Fold in the rest of the ingredients, being careful not to over mix

5.    Spoon the mixture into the loaf tin and cook for around 40 minutes. Lick the bowl and spoon.

6.    Leave it to cool for 10 minutes then dive in!

Remember not to feel guilty after eating this weekend treat; each slice (probably) contains one of your five a day. For best results, enjoy with a cup of tea. 

Pinterest Interiors Dreamin'

One of my favourite unlikely pass times has become scrolling through pinterest’s vaults of inspiration, with the hope of discovering my true glam life. While most people probably use it for style inspiration/pretending they’re Kendall Jenner, I, on the other hand, like to imagine the home of my dreams. I’m not going to lie- I like to think of myself as an undiscovered interior design talent.

I’ve collated some of my favourites from my interiors board, ‘A Humble Abode’ for your viewing pleasure. Definitely follow me on pinterest for more white walls, dark wood floors and cute kitchens- whether you’re actually creating the home of your dreams or like me, you fancy yourself as a bit of a protégé. 

Have a happy weekend staring at your phone screen!

Summer Skincare Staples

Now I don’t know about you, but my skin comes into its own during the warmer months. Whether its staying super hydrated with San Pellegrino or the distinct lack of wind and snow blowing in my face, I can’t quite be sure why my skin is at its best in summer. One thing I can be sure of, is that I really like to go all out in making the most of my summer glow, in the hope that someone might mistake it for a sign I’ve spent 3 weeks in Bali. With that in mind, here are my summer skincare staples…

NARS tinted moisturizer in Greonland SPF 15

This beauty is basically on my face from May to September. It’s perfect because I don’t even need to wear moisturizer underneath, and even has SPF 30. It brightens my face and adds a hint of tan, doing exactly what it says on the tin.

Glow rating: 8.5/10

Clarins Hydra Quench Day Cream SPF 30

There are no two ways about it, my skin LOVES this stuff. It’s my perfect moisturizer and I frankly live in fear of the day it’s discontinued *God forbid*. It’s soothing and creamy and sinks into the skin perfectly so your summer glow doesn’t turn into an oily mess.

Glow rating: 9/10

Clarins facial sun cream

This is ideal for those super sunny days, or if you’re actually spending 3 weeks in Bali (lucky you) as it provides high protection against UVA and UVB rays. You can wear it either under makeup or on its own, as it doesn’t feel thick and gross like most facial sun creams

Glow rating: 8/10

LaRoche-Posay Serozinc Spray

I’m pretty sure this is meant to be a toner, but I use this as a cooling/soothing spray after a good ol’ exfoliation. I spray it generously on my face, pretending I’m a model, then leave it to sink in. It’s one of those products that I can’t put my finger on what it does exactly, but wouldn’t quite feel the same without it.

Glow rating: 7/10

StTropez Express tan

I am pale as hell and it’s never more obvious than in summer, so I need all the help I can get. This fake tan is like my skin but better, and is that perfect olive shade meaning you don’t need to worry about looking like an orange disaster. You can leave it on for up to 3 hours depending on your desired shade. I like to leave it on for just over an hour, and voila, my skin is perfectly sun- kissed!

Glow rating: 9/10

10 Loves #7

1.    It’s been a bit of a month for music hasn’t it? Honourable mentions include the indisputable work of art that is Beyoncé’s LEMONADE, and Chance the Rapper’s amazing new album. I can’t wait to find the time to give James Blake’s latest masterpiece a listen too.

2.    My pin collection…Be jealous. 

 

3.    Obama’s final White House Correspondents’ Dinner speech. Did I mention I’m gonna miss this guy? You can watch him slay here. #NerdProm

4.    Journaling…There’s something about keeping a journal I find so romantic, yet I have never been able to keep one going for a substantial amount of time. Having recently gone through some of my Grandma’s diary, which she’s written in every single day since she was about 7 she reckons, I’ve been inspired to give it another go. 

5.    Shakespeare…this month saw me watch King Lear at the Royal Exchange on the 400^th anniversary of this dude’s death as well as book tickets to see Macbeth at the Globe in July. I’ve been very lucky to have seen loads of different Shakespeare productions, including Hamlet twice, and haven’t seen a bad one yet. You really can’t beat the Bard.

6.    Movies I watched this month included Midnight Special which I highly recommend (I have weird crush on Michael Shannon now) and Lost In Translation for the faffilionth time. 

7.    Ruby Tandoh’s article (which I mentioned in my last post) about what lies beneath the ‘Wellness’ industry.

8.    Donald Trump pretended to be his own publicist and you can listen to it here.

9.    Rudy’s Pizza…I treated myself to some Neapolitan Pizza and loved every second. Me and my friend got a margarita each and shared a garlic bread. It induced some MAJOR flashbacks to the time me and my sister went on a day trip to Naples just to eat at the ‘world’s greatest’ pizza place. No regrets. 

10. Hamilton is coming to London next year and me and my friend didn’t freak out on twitter at all.

Bodies

I tweeted a few days ago and it got a bit of love. The said tweet went as follows, “How about we don’t comment on each other’s bodies and/or what other people eat?” Please excuse the cocky tone but I was angry, okay? It came from being completely baffled as to why people- including close family members- feel the need to provide a running commentary on my diet and presumably the effect it is having on my body.

In this day and age, when we are all aware how dramatically a single comment can have on a person’s view of themselves, it makes me furious when people still make judgemental assumptions about each other’s diet and lifestyle. I recently read British Bake Off finalist Ruby Tandoh’s article in vice, entitles, "The unhealthy truth behind wellness and clean eating" which for me, hit the nail on the head. In the article she condemned the ‘wellness’ industry for essentially being an elitist industry which perpetuated fears of fat, and called for an end to value judgements in food. 

Any discussion in which one food or food group is worshipped and labelled ‘good’ while another is demonised and labelled ‘bad’ is inherently problematic and simply unhealthy. As a young woman I’ve grown up with these unhealthy messages, which encourage feelings of guilt, self-hatred and punishment. 

When I was 13 years old one of my music teachers literally called me ‘fat’. So when you ask me, “should you really be eating that?” as I tuck into a bar of dark chocolate, congratulations- I’ve limited my diet for days in order to convince myself I ‘deserve’ this treat. Or when you observe, “there are loads of carbs in there Annabelle” as I cook a vegetarian chilli with rice, think about how carbohydrates are an important food group in a balanced diet, and how miserable I have sometimes made myself by cutting them out completely due to feeling ashamed at my body’s need for them.

I would never dream of passing such judgement about another person’s diet, partly because I literally don’t know a single young woman who hasn’t struggled with body image and food. Also because food is fuel, I grant you. But it is also a source of so much pleasure, and when we place value judgements on it that pleasure turns into misery and shame at every single meal. That means every birthday meal, Sunday lunch, Christmas day, snack at work, every brunch with friends can induce dread. 

So next time you are about to comment on someone else’s meal, remember that you have no idea what kind of struggles are going on inside their head at that moment, but that I can almost guarantee they will be about food.